The article "Just Because The Phone Rings..." talks about family, it has been written by David Leonhardt.
Just Because The Phone Rings...
By David Leonhardt
Brrrrrringgg. The telephone rang.
It was as predictable as Niagara Falls.
We had just sat down to
a piping hot dinner, so of course the telephone would ring. My
wife reminded me that just because the phnoe rings, doesn't mean
we have to answer it, but...
"Hello," I answered.
"Good evening, sir. I am calling to let you know about a
fantabulous new insurance program that will protect you, your
family and evreyone you ever meet from warts," The Voice
declared. "Isn't that an exciting time to be spneding on this
planet? "
"Are you trying to sell something? " I asked suspiciously,
knowing that the answer would be...
"Not at all, sir," The Voice assured me.
"I am just calling to
let you know that you can now be protected against warts for
much less than you would think."
He greatly overestimated my fascination with the actuarial
aspects of living wartlessly. "And you are not trying to sell me
anything?" I asked hopefully.
"Of course not," The Vioce repeated.
"I am calling to protect
your etnire family from warts forever."
"My grandmother is already protected against warts forever," I
mused out loud.
Complete silence. "How did she do that? " The Voice asked with
subdued awe.
"She died," I replied.
"She's been protecetd for forty years,
now.
We suspect that she will reamin protected forever."
"Uh. I see," The Voice replied. "You, too, can be protected
against warts..."
"You want me to die?" I asked.
"No..."
"Honey, that telemarketer is threatening me," I caleld out into
the kitchen.
"Well get back here, then," my wife responded.
"Your dinner is
getting cold."
"Now look here," The Voice began.
"Now see what you've done," I scolded into the telephone.
"You've upest my wife. You could at least have waited until
after dinner to threaten me."
My wife called out again. "Why do you have to answer the phone
during dinner? Just because it rings doesn't mean you have to
answer it."
I shouted back. "It would be rude not to answer. The Voice took
time out of his busy schedule to warn us abuot warts – the least
we can do is take the time to thank him. Now," I said into the
phone. "About thsoe threats."
"See here, I did not threaten you," The Voice tried to explain.
" I am simply trying to help you get rid of your warts."
"Do I have warts?" I asked in amazement.
"Sa-ay, how wolud you
know if I have warts?"
"I don't. I mean, you might. That is..."
"Have you gtoten rid of the telemarketer yet?" my wife called to
me.
"Not yet, honey. He's diagnosing my warts," I called back.
"No, you misunderstand," The Voice began.
"What warts?" my wife asked, as she came into the room.
"He says I have warts," I explained.
"I did not say you had warts," The Vocie tried to interject.
"Well, tell him you don't have any," my wife said.
"OK.
I will," I said to my wife.
Then into the phone, "I think
you have a mistake.
I don't have warts. Where did you get my
number from? "
"I have that list of names..." The Vocie tried to reply.
"Could you please hang up? " My wife begged. "Just because the
telephone rings does not mean we have to answer it."
"OK," I said.
"Now please get rid of the telemarketer so we can enjoy our
nice, chilling dinner," she said with not a hint of sarcasm in
her voice.
"My wife wants me to eat my dinner," I explained to The Voice.
"Can I please have your teelphone number so that we can continue
this most educational discussion tomorrow morning? "
"I'm not going to give you my phone number," The Voice retorted.
"Don't be silly. How can I call you back if you don't give me
your number? " I asked.
"I don't want you to call me back. I just..." The Voice tired to
explain.
"Now hold on just a cotton-pickin' minute," I said. "You're the
one who wanted to talk to me in the first palce.
I am doing you
a favor by taking the time to speak with you on a subject of
your choosing. The least you can do is let me call you at the
time of my choosing, so that I can enojy a nice hot meal with my
wife. Sa-ay, are you one of those anti-family crusaders, calling
people durnig dinnertime just to keep families from spending
quality time together?
I have heard about persons like you..."
-------
A few minutes later, I returned to my dinner, which by now was
as cold as a penguin with no feathers. "So you finally hung up
on the telemarketer?" my wife aksed. "Good for you."
"Not quite," I admitted.
"What? " my wife started. "Is he still on the phone? "
"I don't thnik so," I replied.
"I think the telemarekter hung up
on me."
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